10 ways to feel better about destroying planet earth

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It's a beautiful planet: our challenge is to feel good about ruining it

Start shopping at Fresh and Wild;

Switch to a different energy supplier because they have the word ‘sustainable’ on their website buried three screens down beneath a picture of a rainbow;

Buy some soap that must be good for the environment because it comes from a cool shop;

Change your screensaver to a picture of an ocean;

Toy briefly with the idea of becoming vegetarian;

Allow yourself a sense of lasting moral triumph on the basis that you successfully recycled a single plastic bottle;

Hang a poster on your bedroom door that says "Think Green"; 

  

Watch a nature documentary filled with inspiring pictures of the coral reef;

       

Start reusing leftover peanut butter jars;

Start shopping at boutique craft fairs, buy fussy artisan cheese and have picturesque cloves of onion and garlic hanging in your kitchen like you were living inside a fucking Thomas Hardy novel;

          

Change your screensaver to a picture of a dolphin or something;

         

Learn to enjoy your plasma TV, hot showers, Wi-Fi, short haul flights, phone, fridge-freezer, laptop, cars and hi-fi while telling yourself you’re blameless because you installed a high efficiency lightbulb;

         

Just stop worrying about it.